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Check out this ad and tell me this isn’t the sweetest thing ever.

Cuteness and craziness aside, I thought I’d try them out with a review in mind.  To be honest, when I do write with one of these it’s usually just to have some fun or to make some quick notes.  So I’ve never really given much thought to how well or poor they perform.  So without further ado, here are my findings on the first five pens that I grabbed out of my “junk” pen bag.

Red Santa Pen: I’m not sure who manufactures this pen because there are absolutely no markings to be found on the body, but it’s one big pain in the ass to write with.  Seriously.  The ink itself isn’t so bad.  It’s trying to actually write that’s horrible.  In order for the pen to light up (yes…light up), you have to press on the page hard enough for the tip to retract into the barrel.  Once it retracts, it makes some kind of contact to light the Santa part of the pen.  The problem is that the pen has to retract into the barrel, which makes it sort of…I dunno…pogo stick like.  I’m not sure that really makes sense but I can’t think of another way to get it across.  You can avoid this stupid design by pressing ever-so-lightly on the page so that the pen doesn’t bounce into the barrel.  But who wants to write that way?

Yellow Beak Pen: This is another pen that doesn’t have any markings, so…no idea who makes the pen.  But I must say, I like the way it writes.  The ink flows onto the page really nicely without any skipping or globbing.  The only drawback is the spring that’s used for the body of the bird (maybe a roadrunner?  whatever).  When you’re writing, the pen takes on a life of it’s own and goes swirling all over the place.  Makes it a tad difficult to try to write with a steady hand.  But who cares?  It’s such a goofy looking pen that penmanship hardly matters.

Kooky Klicker Pen: This is apparently the MacGyver of the pen world!  According to the website…

Kookys can be used as a:
Pen
Collectable & Tradable item
Bookbag/backpack decoration
Party Favor
Gift Decoration
Toy
Keychain
Gift
School Supply

Need I say more?  Go out and buy one.

Pink “Lots of Dots” Pen by Geddes: I love what this pen looks like.  It makes me smile every time I pick it up.  The ink is pretty decent and it’s not completely uncomfortable to hold, but it’s definitely not a pen I’d use to take copious amounts of notes.

Green “Fattyz” Pen by Pentech: Out of all the crazy pens, this one writes the best.  It lays down a smooth line of ink and doesn’t scratch, skip or leave globs all over the page.  It has a nice rubber grip which makes it comfortable to hold even though it’s a “fatty” pen.  I could actually use this for more than just a quick note.

So there you have it.  A review of a few of my crazy pens.  I have more, dear reader, so you may see yet another review some day. Or maybe just a cute picture will suffice?!

The cartridge of the Space Pen is pressurized with nitrogen, which means it doesn’t rely on gravity to make it work. It is dependable in freezing cold and desert heat, and it can write underwater and upside down.  Just as I don’t have a need for writing on a grain of rice with the Signo Bit, I’m not sure I have an actual need for writing underwater.  I also somehow doubt I’ll be visiting the Russian Vostok Station in Antarctica (-129 degrees F on July 21, 1983) or El Azizia, Libya (136 degrees F on Sept 13, 1922).  But I do live in Florida, which feels like Africa hot to me since I was raised in Germany.

As I said, I have no need for writing underwater but I did it anyway to test this gem of a pen.  Anything to avoid working is always a good thing.  And getting a co-worker involved in not working is even better.  So Pax played camera man as I folded up two sheets of everyday paper that I had at my desk, placed them on top of a CD case and submerged the whole thing into water.

I worried that the ink might not start flowing right away, but I was proven wrong.  The ink flowed without having to scribble on the page first.  As you can see from the video, the writing looks fine.  It might not have the greatest quality (a bit choppy), but it is legible.  No bleeding of the ink, and no smearing.

One thing that did strike me as odd is that the ink changed color when writing underwater (the top two lines in the image below were written under water).  Instead of black ink , I ended up with a dark blue ink.   And isn’t that just spiffy??

Today I have more pens than I can possibly use in this lifetime.  The number of journals I have is staggering – most of which are empty vessels waiting for their turn to hold some great secret or “The Next Best Novel”.  If you were to look in my desk drawer you’d find countless clips, push pins, post-it notes and thingamafloggies all neatly organized.  I don’t use half the stuff, but I like to look at them and organize them.  Sometimes it’s by color and sometimes it’s by type.  Sick, I know.  Places like Office Depot, Staples, and Office Max are some of my favorite places to shop.  I can easily waste away an hour just browsing the isles.  My newest favorite find is the on-line store JetPens.  I’ve spent so much money there in the past 3 months that I should own stock!  Seriously.

Now that you have the back story on my obsession with all things stationery , I thought I’d review some of my favorite things over the next few blog entries.  I’ll start of with pens.  Why pens?  Because without them the rest are rather useless.  What would be the point of stapling together blank pages, or sticking blank post-its all over the place??  Hang on, there’s actually a valid use for blank post-its.

But I digress.

Right now, one of my favorite pens is the Uni-Ball Signo Bit 0.18 (in blue).  This pen touts itself as the world’s thinnest gel pen.  So thin, in fact, that you can write legibly on a grain of rice.  I’m not sure why anyone would need to write on a grain of rice, but lets face it – that’s just crazy cool.  It’s why I love this pen so much.  It’s got that bad-ass factor.  When I first started writing with the pen I felt like I was going to tear through the paper.  The tip is that fine/sharp.  But after adjusting the pen angle just a bit, I found it was easier to write.  The only drawback I’ve found is that it’s a bit “scratchy” when I write, which makes for a noisy pen.  But I don’t really care, people.  The pen can write on a piece of rice!  I mean, come on!  What’s cooler than that??

Written on greenroom eco recycled paper.